6 Ways to Build Rituals of Connection With Your Partner
Are you looking to strengthen your connection with your partner but unsure of where to start? It could be helpful to spend more intentional time together through planned rituals of connection.
A ritual of connection helps strengthen relationships by prioritizing and creating time to share meaningful moments. These meaningful moments help deepen love bonds, bringing you closer to your partner and building emotional intimacy.
6 Ways to Build Rituals of Connection with your Partner
When life gets busy, sometimes you have to prioritize time to make space for what’s important. Here are a few tips and strategies from a couples therapist in Oakland, CA to help you give your relationship a little TLC.
1) Turn off the TV and step away from your screens
After a long work day, sometimes a bit of zoning out watching TV can be nice. But if you notice watching TV and phone scrolling are dominating your evenings, it might be helpful to switch things up.
Brainstorm with your partner on a few activities that are more interactive and fun. Perhaps working on a jigsaw puzzle, taking a walk outside, or playing a board game together. Spending intentional time together without screens can go a long way in strengthening your connection.
2) Plan and schedule a fun date activity
When was the last time you went on a date? If it’s been a while, planning a fun night out could boost your relationship and give you something fun to look forward to together!
3) Prioritize daily cuddle time and affection
Dr. John Gottman, a relationship researcher and therapist, found that a 6-second kiss can improve the health of your relationship. He also found that comings and goings in your day are particularly helpful times to connect.
Heading out the door for work or getting home after a long day as well as going to bed and waking up are great times for hugs and kisses. Taking a moment to connect through physical touch and affection can give your relationship a much-needed boost.
4) Work towards a joint goal together
Setting your goals together can be incredibly powerful, and help you both stay accountable and motivated. It could be saving up for a fun vacation, learning to cook a special dish, or getting a few hikes each month.
Get creative by coming up with a joint goal you both can work on together.
5) Set Aside time each week for a “state of the union”
A “state of the union” conversation entails setting aside time, typically weekly, to talk about your relationship. During this time, couples share several moments in the past week where they felt appreciation for their partner in addition to what’s going well in the relationship.
Couples may also check in around moments when they felt stuck, had a disagreement, or felt like their partner missed them emotionally. During these conversations, it’s important to attune to your partner by coming from a compassionate, open, and curious place and intend to mend these moments of disconnection. Some couples may choose to save these more difficult conversations for couples therapy if they find it challenging.
During a state of the union conversation, couples discuss tangible ways they can make each other feel more loved in the next week, such as spending more time together or sharing ways they appreciate each other.
6) Have a daily stress-reducing conversation
Spending time together talking about what was hard in your day can help reduce your stress, and help strengthen your connection. The key to a stress-reducing conversation is to only talk about stress outside of your relationship.
During these conversations, minimize advice-giving and prioritize listening to your partner. Both partners feeling heard, respected, and cared for can grow emotional attraction in your relationship.